Saturday, May 30, 2009

Fashion any computer nerd can enjoy...

Because there is nothing better than a visor made out of a hideous mouse pad and shoelaces.


Thursday, May 28, 2009

Man, I knew it was hot in Egypt, but come on!


I think my husband hit the nail on the head when he assumed that these were left on somebody's car dashboard in the blazing hot sun. It's not so sad that they're melted, but absolutely pathetic that lighting them wasn't the initial way of melting them...

Egyptian pyramids... What's that? Oh yeah, aren't those supposed to have four, rather than three sides?

I must say, the thrift store we found these in has some of the best objects I've ever seen as far as nightmares go. Think of that thrift store your old, miserable, deranged uncle would shop at for rusty lawnmower parts and you'll get right idea... The place is so dusty and grimy that every time we go in there we immediately feel the need to shower afterwards. And yes, it is so cluttered with piles of junk that I have gotten lost inside this place. It was quite a scary experience. I'm lucky that I have my faithful j-on to guide me through though... And somehow, finding hilarious objects like these make it all worthwhile.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Could a tin be any tackier?

Seriously guys, there are no words.


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Looking for that rare find?

Well then, this might be for you...


As I felt the material of this dress I felt as if I'd get some sort of fabric splinter. It comes to no surprise that the price tag is still intact and attached to this garment. And what is this I spy?

Huh. Rare, eh? Well, I can see why it would be rare... Or at least why they would only make one. The only people I see wearing this dress are either of the Amish persuasion or Pilgrims... Let's walk away from this one and try our hardest to forget it, shall we?


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Old Lady Junk

This is an entry that has been a long time in the making. I've been pondering for a couple of weeks on exactly how to structure this entry. First, a story.

What exactly is "old lady junk"? Here's the best way I can explain it. Imagine waking up on a Saturday morning and, at a loss of what to do with your day, feel an urge to go "garage sale-ing". You set out with the intent to find unique or useful items but after actually visiting two or three garage sales you're sad, hurt and disappointed that all you could find was crap like this:

This, my readers, is EXACTLY what I mean when I say "old lady junk". Just random, useless bric-a-brac found in abundance in nearly every grandma's house. And believe it or not, there are entire thrift stores that have accumulated nothing but this very same old lady junk.

And last but not least, there's this horrible piece of crap:

This is especially irritating because I think we all know that late middle-aged/old person who finds sayings like this clever or funny.

The Nude Chia

A Chia Pet without its growable seed kit is like a cat without its fur... A very sad sight to see. I've never really thrown myself into the world of Chia Pets, but aren't you supposed to discard these things after the plant has died? And a Chia Gator? Man, they make those things out of everything, don't they? Anybody seen Chia Obama yet? Crazy...

But like many other thrift store nightmares before this one, I'm afraid the nude gator will remain naked and alone for the rest of his days in the Salvation Army.


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Rex Kwon Do anyone?

Not quite.

Although this isn't really a thrift store, it appears as though someone took the thrift store concept and tried to apply it to some sort of generic martial arts academy. Who in their right mind would enter this place? I've seen higher-budget store signs in Mexican slums.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Need some new furniture?

Well if you are an 80s power yuppie these are the right chairs for you!

Notice how flawless they appear... That's pretty good considering they are directly from the 80s. My guess is that they had little excitement in their life... They sat around an empty, long, perfectly clean white and black dining table with decorative fruit in the middle as their only company. They were likely never used or sat on, as yuppies own furniture for the sole purpose of admiring it from a distance. After paying 2000 dollars too much for something you can't have people actually using the pieces, now can you? That's absurd!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

It's more of a mystery than a nightmare

This next thrift store nightmare is more of a mysterious tragedy than anything. What I find when I go thrift store shopping is a ton of holiday decorations some of the religious persuasion. When I find these, they always have one of two things wrong with them.

1. They always have a broken wise man. Whether it be a broken hand or missing head, something is always broken about one of them.

Or mostly this is found...

2. The missing baby Jesus.

Come on, people! What is the point of buying this structure if the centerpiece is missing!? Who on earth steals baby Jesus? Does the person selling this just assume that you can pull a miniature baby out of thin air? A baby Jesus is supposed to be sacred and unique! Surely one cannot replace it with a simple baby Barbie! Or can they?


Saturday, May 16, 2009


I have no idea what this book is about. Jewelry advice? Selling jewelry? Being a greedy person? Whatever it's about, I don't feel like following it... I'd feel like I'd be stealing jewelry from the dead. I mean, look at the skeleton on the front? This book just clearly reads "Come and grave rob me!"

Also, I think whoever paid the funeral home's makeup artist to do this corpse's makeup should get their money back...


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Hey! Let's play a game!

Let's see who can spot the most thrift store nightmares in this photo! I'll start with that tacky leopard print pocket mirror... *shudders*


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Magic my ass

The magic of? Dude, if this guy's magic attracts women with caterpillar eyelashes, I don't want any part of it! Look at those things!


Saturday, May 2, 2009

Best Sound System Ever!

Come on, you know you want to buy this...

After reviewing this picture I came upon a couple of facts.

1. Thrift stores really WILL take anything.

2. There is a such thing as overpriced garbage.

3. Apparently hobos have items to donate as well.

I wonder if this thing actually does work...


Friday, May 1, 2009

Golf Nightmare

After about a month of absence, I feel that this blog should again be updated, so let's go!

Today I bring to you this: The Lonely Golfer

This golfer is so incredibly lonely that even his golf club left him... I'm sure that this would be a tragedy in any golfer's life.

I imagine that this was a sincere gift to some fanatic golfer, but somehow that golfer only appreciated this thing by stealing the club that came with it and tossing the rest to the nearest thrift store. Nobody is going to buy a golfer without a club! I'm afraid that this poor guy is going to be left alone for the rest of his days... So my sad, lonely, golfer man... Best of luck to you and may you be reunited with your one golf club love again someday.