Another Reject Art Project

Let's hope little Timmy never walks into this Good Will and sees his masterpiece made especially for mommy in this craptastic store! His tears falling may prove to be more devastating than these deformed lizard creations.

The Newest State

As a resident of Gllinois, I'm glad the person who painstakingly painted this one-of-a-kind Gllinois commemorative plate lovingly captured all of the things I love about Gllinois. Not only is Abe Lincoln's slightly retarded Gllinoian brother Lester pictured, but a depressing city, a phallic structure, a rickety shack in the middle of nowhere, and a dilapidated government building all fit in quite nicely. These are just some of the amazing things you'll see on your next trip to Gllinois.

Something no white trash home should be without...

Another failed art project...

Need a place to stash your weed? Why, the solution is simple of course! Just pop this lovely Eskimo's head off and throw your valuables inside his gut!

You know, for being a reject art project that ended up at the Community Thrift Store, this little guy somehow called out to me. There's something about that face that made me want to take him home... But with the collection of thrift store nightmares I already have, it's best to let this guy find a home in some loving pothead's house. Someday he'll find his real place...

Patriotic Nightmares

Happy Birthday USA!

Show your love for your country with these fine shitty needlepoint decorations, a perfect gift for any mother-in-law or deadbeat dad:



And for our Southern patriots, this wonderful piece of Bradford Exchange fare would look right at home next to your stuffed raccoon or collection of vintage beer cans:

Behold Brick Lady! The circus sideshow freak made entirely out of...... brick?

I can appreciate someone's attempt to make art out of random objects... Really, I can. Come on though, guys! We're talking about painting a woman's face onto a brick!!! What, did your pet rock not interact with you enough? Did you need some jolly-faced fat woman to chuck at your enemy's window? I just don't get it. Do I ever though?

Raise your chicken goblet high!

And make a toast to... KFC? Popeyes? Hmm...



This is the biggest and only piece of chicken flamboyancy that I have ever seen. The lovely soft pastel colors, the open magical stars, and the dainty little chicken face smothered in light blue eyeshadow...

Yet again another strange art piece found at the Salvation Army. Really these people should just devote a portion of their store as some sort of art museum for the reject masterpieces. Alas, that won't happen. Or is that a good thing?

Flattop Angel

The endless combinations of trailer park art and odd hairstyles never cease to amaze me.

Inappropriate painting

Painting a portrait of your child is perfectly acceptable. This is not. Something tells me that whoever painted this kid is not related to him, and that the kid was lured into a loft apartment by a mustachioed man with promises of candy and puppies.


All art has a message. What's the message here? What's the artist trying to convey? If it's that the artist likes little boys with creepily seductive expressions so much that he has to paint them in a psychedelic dream world where no age of consent laws exist, I'd say he succeeded admirably.

-j-on

This is by far the worst...

Okay, let's examine this one, shall we? Just because something is entirely handcrafted, doesn't mean that you're getting a unique bargain or impressive piece of art. Seriously, people... The fact that this ended up at a Goodwill is beyond me because I don't even think normal thrift stores would take this!

I can only guess that this was taken from the finest trailer and the envy of the entire court. It appears to be put together from a piece of horrible 70s wood paneling (a broken one at that... Notice how this creator cleverly taped the top tip), perhaps the most dull color of playdoh ever, and a pen and paper with a random bible quote. At least they know how to spell, right?

This one will definitely go down as the most pointless, half-assed piece of thrift store nightmare garbage I've ever seen.

-k8

What is it!?

I don't know whether I should laugh or feel sorry for the fact that this piece ended up in a thrift store... Obviously this has to be some sort of reject high school drop out's art project in a sad attempt to create a bong... Of course they did it wrong and that's why it ended up at the Salvation Army. Or perhaps it was some retarded kid's masterpiece thrown out by their ungrateful mother. Was it supposed to be a vase? If it was I don't think many flowers lasted inside it... Or maybe even some random weirdo tried to make a cast of his oddly shaped penis. I don't know folks... This one is just... perplexing. Either way, you have to kind of feel a bit of sorrow with this one. You just know that no one will ever buy it and somehow you know that it never even had a good home. Poor oddly shaped blob of clay... It never had a chance.

-k8

Depressing Dogs and Dead Ducks

Over the past couple of days, I have noticed a recurring item in the thrift stores I've been visiting. For some reason, some people think it's classy to create an artistic rendition of a dog carrying a dead duck. I can't really follow the train of thought here. I'd imagine that these works are trying to portray dogs as loyal followers of man, but if you really think about it, the real theme here is bleak and depressing. I imagine only trailer park folk would find this to be art, much like they see art in a bust of Elvis made from cigarette butts and spent shotgun shells. For your enjoyment:

Scream

Hmm....

Need I say more?

-k8

I'm not sure exactly what's wrong with this...

But I think it's agreed that there is, in fact, something wrong with it.

Maybe this picture is completely innocent, but my god, who the hell would hang this anywhere in their house? And why? Perhaps a better question is "why does every portrayal of a male from the 70's feature that horrible three dimensional side-part and a mustache?"

-j-on