You guess is as good as mine.

With what this is.

I am left with so many questions.

What is this? Is it some sort of ape? Some sort of idiotic cave man?

Why are it's teeth falling out of its head?

Is it supposed to be a piggy bank of some sort with that slit in the middle?

Why the glasses? Why the odd thing in its hand?

But as always, with all thrift store nightmares, my biggest question of all is this... Why on earth does this exist? The world will unfortunately never know.

-k8

Beaten Bozo

Because there's nothing the kiddies love more than a dead clown!

-k8

Jesus is watching you!

Yep, that's right, if you hang this bad boy up in your household Jesus will most definitely catch everything that you do. EVERYTHING! Nothing escapes those eerie eyes! And by the looks of this, I'm pretty certain that Jesus is some sort of pervert. Just look at it!

*shudders*

If I weren't already an atheist this thing would certainly give me enough reason to be one. Seriously, who finds this comforting!?

-k8

Scooby Doo, where are you?

Why, he's at the Salvation Army of course!

This may not necessarily be a thrift store nightmare, but it is a personal nightmare for me, as I despise Scooby Doo in tremendous amounts. Just why on earth are there so many copies of this one specific episode? I don't even think department stores hold that many copies! Yuck...

-k8

Phone home?

If ET had a sister, this surely would be it.


Come on, you cannot deny it. Look at that resemblance!



I imagine that she didn't have the opportunity to phone home, however... Or maybe it was that her fellow aliens thought she was too ugly to bring home... Either way, it appears as though she's taken it upon herself to travel the world and eventually settle down somewhere in Mexico to make a new life for herself. I guess for a creepy looking alien that's not too bad, eh?

-k8

Thrust! Thrust I say!

Oh my.

-k8

George Washington Beer!

Because what's more respectable to our first president than to drink him?

And what does that small print say? "I cannot tell a lie." Damn right! Once you drink this stuff, you'll be full of all sorts of truth serum! So drink up, I say! Here's to you Mr. President!

-k8

Inappropriate painting

Painting a portrait of your child is perfectly acceptable. This is not. Something tells me that whoever painted this kid is not related to him, and that the kid was lured into a loft apartment by a mustachioed man with promises of candy and puppies.


All art has a message. What's the message here? What's the artist trying to convey? If it's that the artist likes little boys with creepily seductive expressions so much that he has to paint them in a psychedelic dream world where no age of consent laws exist, I'd say he succeeded admirably.

-j-on

Ya know...

Some things just can't be figured out....

What is up with this thing? Is it supposed to be a mummy Halloween decoration?

Was this some sort of art project?

Why does the mummy have a suitcase? Where would a mummy travel to?

Why the colors? Is it going into combat of some sort and in need of camouflage disguise?

All these questions, but no answers... I'll be left hanging forever. This is another example of one of those pieces that will sadly probably remain at the thrift store for years to come, dusty on the shelf and shunned by all who walk by. I feel kind of bad for this traveling mummy soldier... But alas, my home too cannot provide a home for such an odd artifact. It just wouldn't be right.

-k8

To continue on with our Civil War theme...

What better way to show respect towards our fallen civil war veterans than by making a lamp out of them?


Just look at the excitement on that man's face!

-k8