Death Clown

I'm always quite freaked out by the amount of clown crap we find at thrift stores. Thrift stores have an uneasy vibe about them BECAUSE they are clown graveyards of sorts. Any child who has ever held clown nightmares and received a tacky clown knick knack from Great Aunt Pearl will most likely jump on their bike and pay the nearest Goodwill to take it off their hands! What thrift store haven't you walked into and spotted rows and rows of hollow clown eyes staring holes into your inner childhood? You can almost here the crazed giggles and circus music as you walk by, or in my case, run by...

This knick knack disturbed me in multiple ways.


1. It's a clown knick knack. Enough said. Why people will continue to make these horrible pieces of old lady art, I will never know. CLOWNS ARE NOT CUTE, FUNNY, OR CLEVER!!!

2. Notice its death eyes. *shudders*

3. Why does it appear as if the child is worshiping it? Clearly that evil clown has a spell over the poor boy or the child is just terrified for his life.

4. I don't know about you, but if I had a box with a clown the same size as me popping out, I'd be peeing my pants. There's no way that's supposed to be a toy.

I hate clowns! So if you ever happen to come across a clown related item and feel the need to give it away to your nearest thrift store, STOP! Take it out back, pour some gasoline over it, hire a priest to exorcist it, and proceed to light that sucker up in flames!

Hot Potato!

Or rather... Giant glowing mutant potato!

Thanks Emily M. for discovering this hideous masterpiece and submitting it to us! Upon seeing this nightmare, I immediately became convinced that there is some sort of weird potato cult or potato fetish people out there. Who else would take it upon themselves to create such an item? But not only did these people take it upon themselves to make an actual potato lamp, but they made a GIANT potato lamp at that! This sucker measures in at 3 feet by 2 feet! WHAT!? Imagine how many french fries you could get from that!

You know there is no other lamp like this in existence. Kudos to you, Emily, for purchasing this one of a kind item! You've done us proud! I know if I were in your position, I'd have done the same thing!



Feel free to send anymore nightmares our way fellow thrift store shoppers!

King of the Jungle

Just explain to me... Under which circumstances would one ever wear this shirt?

Christmas time in May!

Hey guys, you know what's awesome? Getting great deals on clearance Christmas items! The way you go about doing this is so easy too! You just buy the Christmas items on the off season and you'll get them for practically a steal! Then come next Christmas you won't have to pay high dollar prices to decorate your lovely home! Now, it might be a little harder to find Christmas items in the month of may at your local department store, but a thrift store is always a good start! So let's see here... Need a Christmas tree?



Oh um... So that's a Christmas tree found at the Salvation Army, huh? Maybe it's not so bad... Let's take a good look, shall we?

-It's pre-lit. That's always a plus... But the lights are tangled.
-It's able to stand upright... But it is missing the upper half...
-It's green! It has that going for it!

Yeah... I don't know. Is it really worth the 10 dollars? I think Charley Brown may have one upped this sorry tree.

Tied up books...

These books must have been so crappy that they couldn't even untie them, sort them, and price them... It was quicker and cheaper to give you the whole lot for $1.00. But look at what you get! I'm sure you can't find information this up-to-date about Jesus just anywhere!

Another Reject Art Project

Let's hope little Timmy never walks into this Good Will and sees his masterpiece made especially for mommy in this craptastic store! His tears falling may prove to be more devastating than these deformed lizard creations.

The Mug Blob.

Who needs those fancy Denny's mugs when you can just drink from a turd mug? Seriously, someone kindly explain to me what this is supposed to be. And what's with the nose? All I'm getting from that is some demented Pinnochio offspring gone wrong...

The South will rise again!

Yeah... I'm thinking not. Not with all this crap ending up in every thrift store you visit.

The Mystery is solved.

You may remember back to this entry: http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/2009/05/its-more-of-mystery-than-nightmare.html

Baby Jesus... Why is he always missing? Where does he go to? Who in their sick, twisted mind would steal such a famous religious figure?

Well, apparently he's not gone for good because baby Jesus always turns up somewhere. In this case, the Salvation Army holds him hostage.

At least that mystery is solved! Now if only we could figure out how to rid the nasty, dingy thrift store smell from all items purchased there...

Tacky, tacky, tacky

Here we've got four, count 'em, four eagles and an America Mountain.