Tacky, tacky, tacky

Here we've got four, count 'em, four eagles and an America Mountain.

Army Bear

Something tells me Sgt. Snuggles here won't be marching into combat any time soon with that gimpy leg. And we all know where this bear got that gimpy leg, too... A fat kid who was a little too old to be playing with teddy bears smashed it in six places. The doctors all say the bear may walk again, but he's going to need years of painful surgery and physical therapy.

Stamp nightmare

Someone loved this postage stamp of a mad black woman so much that they couldn't help themselves from having it encased in plastic. I'd kick myself if this thing were worth like $300 on ebay and I didn't buy it for $.90 when I had the chance.

The Newest State

As a resident of Gllinois, I'm glad the person who painstakingly painted this one-of-a-kind Gllinois commemorative plate lovingly captured all of the things I love about Gllinois. Not only is Abe Lincoln's slightly retarded Gllinoian brother Lester pictured, but a depressing city, a phallic structure, a rickety shack in the middle of nowhere, and a dilapidated government building all fit in quite nicely. These are just some of the amazing things you'll see on your next trip to Gllinois.

Please kill me

Just try to imagine the miserable, pathetic old lady that would carry this bag. If you look inside, I'm sure you'll find a bottle of Geritol, some denture paste, and a Matlock VHS tape.

Keep an Eye Out Folks

We have just welcomed a new child into the world, so, dear readers, as you can imagine, we've been busy. But we have NOT stopped trolling thrift stores to bring you the worst of the worst items that our society has to offer. We plan to start updating the blog regularly again now that everything has settled down and the holidays are over.

Here's something to whet your appetite:



At first glance, it's not overtly obvious why a filing cabinet that looks as though it's been shipped by Soviet Express should be funny. But if you look REALLY close, you can see a price tag for $15. $15 fucking dollars for a POS filing cabinet that looks as though Chris Farley fell on it. Something tells me that this wonderful eyesore is going to be in this store for years to come.

Likely found in a junkie's home...

Never and I mean NEVER, under any circumstances, should you ever be able to find this at a thrift store!!! I definitely avoided touching that one... But I did get a nice picture!

The Parent Trap.

You know all those experts who write books and books about perfect parenting guides?

Yeah... Something tells me that you've likely found all of their copies of their books at one thrift store or another. Every thrift store seems to have a huge pile or shelf devoted to parenting books. And why?

Because they don't work!

Seriously folks, if you have to turn to a book to help improve your parenting style, you might want to rethink that whole plan... Remember, you're relying on books that eventually haunt the shelves and gather dust at the nearest Salvation Army. Instead of spending countless hours sifting through those dusty books, why not try listening to and/or paying attention to your kid on your own instead?

Questionable Book Covers.

Almost every thrift store has a book section. Sometimes you can find a lot of useful books, too, especially those of the self-help variety. But sometimes you just come across books with covers that leave you with a permanent questioning face. For example:


Just what in the hell is going on here? I can only imagine that this book has something to do with computers from the 80s being evil... So evil that they had to label them "The Dragon's eye". If you stare directly into the screen, er... um, the "dragon's eye", you'll become a lifeless body of retardation.

Well, this book seems fairly normal.

But then you turn it over... Could this book scream the 90s anymore? There's not necessarily anything wrong with it, but tell me I'm not alone in noticing the highly advertised messages of diversity. It was everywhere!


Knee Holes... The story of a young boy and his quest to one day be a woman... That is a boy, right?

Dollar Store Baby

I would like to apologize for our recent lack of activity, but we've been preparing for fast-approaching parenthood. As you can imagine, the last couple of weeks have been hectic. But that hasn't stopped our never-ending quest to find the most terrible thrift store atrocities imaginable.

For this next Nightmare, we decided to raid the local dollar store. As you can imagine we didn't have to try very hard to find this:



I can't imagine who in their right mind would buy this for their child to play with. The items at this dollar store are supposedly new, so what gives with this doll with the bashed-in face? It looks like a fat, sweaty asshole sat on its face.