Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Allies

After over a year of hiatus, we have decided that this blog is too hilarious to let fester in disuse. We're back, with more awful atrocities than ever and a new look to top it off. That being said, I'd like to start things off with a hilarious album.


Looking at this album cover, your first impression may well be "what the fuck! I didn't know Air Supply released a hair metal album!" But behind all of the blue-to-heliotrope gradients, gold embossing and overexposed black and white photography, you'll find a pitifully obscure 80's act that sounds like a phoned-in combination of Rick Springfield and Peter Cetera. Just check out a video of track 1, which shows us another hilarious album cover:



Immediately we're assaulted by the most generic keyboard riff I've ever heard. I had to wake myself up to catch these lyrics:

From the day you are born,
there's a battle goin' on in your soul,
comes a time in your life,
when you've gotta give somebody control.

This is it, time is now,
and the change should be like day and night.
it's so hard to hold out,
but it's easy when you give up the fight.

All you life, he's wanted you,
he's wanted you,
he's cared for you,
I'm tellin' you.

Now you know he loves you so,
SURRENDER!

Ok, I've fucking had enough. Either this is a song about a stalker, or I've stumbled upon some sort of Christian music disguised as synth-driven 80's rock, a normally awesome style of music. Needless to say, this crap belongs in the circular file.

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