Pedo Priest

Because you know that smile isn't just from the lord...

A long awaited update...

Because it's been awhile since we last updated, I've decided that all of you readers should get to view a handful of thriftstore nightmares we've come across these last few months... I wish this was for your viewing pleasure, but with any of these finds, you know how that goes....


Alright, first up we have the Deluxe Bedazzler! If the marketing angle is to dress up my clothing with studs and jewels to make myself look cooler, the people who made this product definitely messed up when they found this girl model. If I end up looking like her I might as well punch myself in the face because any normal person would beat the crap out of a dweeb like her... Especially a dweeb stuck in 1976 with a studded jacket... Come on...


Next we have a handcrafted coffee mug entitled "DAD". Because what better way to celebrate Dad's existence than with a mug that resembles some type of poop troll?


Okay now, let's see here... What is this? Oh, uh... A mummified, earless, bear monster?


Oh wait, scratch that. It's a squatting cat ash tray! Right... A squatting cat ash tray... You know, I don't even think you could find this piece in your weird next door neighbor cat lady's house.

Moving far, far away from that nightmare...

And some of these other nightmares have no descriptions. They just are what they are.


A half broken Jesus.


Legless bull rider.


Siamese Twins from Hell


I hope that this entry was sufficient enough to tide you over for now. I apologize for our absence on this website and promise to try and update it more often, but with a toddler running around and a husband who is a programmer, the two of us are constantly working on various new projects around the web, as well as chasing the little one. Rest assured that we always are on the look out for new nightmares, though! Thriftstore Nightmares is always one of our favorite hobbies, so be on the look out for new additions!

The Mystery is solved.

You may remember back to this entry: http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/2009/05/its-more-of-mystery-than-nightmare.html

Baby Jesus... Why is he always missing? Where does he go to? Who in their sick, twisted mind would steal such a famous religious figure?

Well, apparently he's not gone for good because baby Jesus always turns up somewhere. In this case, the Salvation Army holds him hostage.

At least that mystery is solved! Now if only we could figure out how to rid the nasty, dingy thrift store smell from all items purchased there...

The Church Member

Hmm... Sure, you could look at this little holy guy and say he's just holding a flesh colored drinking glass/bowl. That's totally what it looks like, right? By the way, it's rather large for his size, is it not?

I especially am digging the expression on his innocent little face.

It's more of a mystery than a nightmare

This next thrift store nightmare is more of a mysterious tragedy than anything. What I find when I go thrift store shopping is a ton of holiday decorations some of the religious persuasion. When I find these, they always have one of two things wrong with them.

1. They always have a broken wise man. Whether it be a broken hand or missing head, something is always broken about one of them.

Or mostly this is found...



2. The missing baby Jesus.

Come on, people! What is the point of buying this structure if the centerpiece is missing!? Who on earth steals baby Jesus? Does the person selling this just assume that you can pull a miniature baby out of thin air? A baby Jesus is supposed to be sacred and unique! Surely one cannot replace it with a simple baby Barbie! Or can they?

-k8

Jesus is watching you!

Yep, that's right, if you hang this bad boy up in your household Jesus will most definitely catch everything that you do. EVERYTHING! Nothing escapes those eerie eyes! And by the looks of this, I'm pretty certain that Jesus is some sort of pervert. Just look at it!

*shudders*

If I weren't already an atheist this thing would certainly give me enough reason to be one. Seriously, who finds this comforting!?

-k8

This is by far the worst...

Okay, let's examine this one, shall we? Just because something is entirely handcrafted, doesn't mean that you're getting a unique bargain or impressive piece of art. Seriously, people... The fact that this ended up at a Goodwill is beyond me because I don't even think normal thrift stores would take this!

I can only guess that this was taken from the finest trailer and the envy of the entire court. It appears to be put together from a piece of horrible 70s wood paneling (a broken one at that... Notice how this creator cleverly taped the top tip), perhaps the most dull color of playdoh ever, and a pen and paper with a random bible quote. At least they know how to spell, right?

This one will definitely go down as the most pointless, half-assed piece of thrift store nightmare garbage I've ever seen.

-k8