The South will rise again!

Yeah... I'm thinking not. Not with all this crap ending up in every thrift store you visit.

The Mystery is solved.

You may remember back to this entry: http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/2009/05/its-more-of-mystery-than-nightmare.html

Baby Jesus... Why is he always missing? Where does he go to? Who in their sick, twisted mind would steal such a famous religious figure?

Well, apparently he's not gone for good because baby Jesus always turns up somewhere. In this case, the Salvation Army holds him hostage.

At least that mystery is solved! Now if only we could figure out how to rid the nasty, dingy thrift store smell from all items purchased there...

Tacky, tacky, tacky

Here we've got four, count 'em, four eagles and an America Mountain.

Army Bear

Something tells me Sgt. Snuggles here won't be marching into combat any time soon with that gimpy leg. And we all know where this bear got that gimpy leg, too... A fat kid who was a little too old to be playing with teddy bears smashed it in six places. The doctors all say the bear may walk again, but he's going to need years of painful surgery and physical therapy.

Stamp nightmare

Someone loved this postage stamp of a mad black woman so much that they couldn't help themselves from having it encased in plastic. I'd kick myself if this thing were worth like $300 on ebay and I didn't buy it for $.90 when I had the chance.

The Newest State

As a resident of Gllinois, I'm glad the person who painstakingly painted this one-of-a-kind Gllinois commemorative plate lovingly captured all of the things I love about Gllinois. Not only is Abe Lincoln's slightly retarded Gllinoian brother Lester pictured, but a depressing city, a phallic structure, a rickety shack in the middle of nowhere, and a dilapidated government building all fit in quite nicely. These are just some of the amazing things you'll see on your next trip to Gllinois.

Please kill me

Just try to imagine the miserable, pathetic old lady that would carry this bag. If you look inside, I'm sure you'll find a bottle of Geritol, some denture paste, and a Matlock VHS tape.